So I was reading Marie Claire today in hopes of finding a way to make my ass shrink and I came a crossed something interesting. Did you know that as a Marilyn Monroe Impersonator in Vegas you can get paid 50 bucks an hour? Shit, if I wasn't rethinking my life already this, would have made me start. Maybe I should ditch this whole teacher thing and become something interesting. I'm terrified that I'm going to end up as some boring teacher in Ohio for the rest of my life and that scares me... a lot. I just wish I could pack up everything I had and leave. I want to go and do so many great things but I just can't seem to be able to make that first step.

For example, I was going to try out for my college's musical but I didn't. You want to know why I didn't? I think it was because I was afraid that I would like it and I would want to change my major to something risky like acting. *sigh* Don't get me wrong I really love the idea of teaching but is that the only thing I'm going to do with my life? I feel like I have all this ambition and it has no place to go.

Oh and to top the cake- in this issue there was a poll to see if you need therapy. I have been toying with the idea of going because I've been dealing with bouts of depression and thoughts of suicide. I thought that by taking this stupid little test it would tell me that I didn't need therapy and that I was just being retarded. I was really surprised that I got 37 points out of 45. I don't really know what to think about that. I still don't know if I'm really going to do anything about it.

Well I best stop wasting your time with my random self pity! Hell- I don't even think anyone really reads the crap I write most days.

Yours truly from the middle of BFE
Bridge